Articles on Green Burials and more . . .
An Interview with Nora Cedarwind Young
about Death Midwifery and Green Burials (continued)
August 2006
Q. What is the history behind Death Midwives?
The history is as old as birth and death itself. Most cultures have some form of death rituals, caring for the dying and these were usually positions held by women, in wise woman tradition. However, some cultures did utilize shamans or tribal priests to help the transition be in line with their belief systems. And most include practices of comfort, nurturing, bathing, prayer, song, family or ancestral connection, farewells and ritual preparation of the body once passed.
Q. What services do you provide? Describe a typical encounter.
Uh….this is like saying, “describe a typical birth…” My first birth was a home franks breech 36 hour labor, my second was twins with an emergency c-section after 26 hours, my third birth was a Vaginal Birth After Cesarean and it was 8 hours and three pushes…. No two deaths are the same, however they do embrace certain patterns.
I provide all kinds of services, from education about Green Burials to counseling folks on how to prepare necessary paperwork that will assure they have requests that will be honored.
I answer questions for family and friends and help support them from shopping to cooking. But usually I sit bedside with the dying, caring for them. I also educate and do workshops on caring for the body of our beloved dead (how to bathe and prepare a body for home viewing and funerals). I also educate about alternatives to the funeral industry, as the high costs can cause unnecessary hardship. We need to know our Rights in our last rites.
I educate people about ordering your own cremation container, how to decorate it, what permits you need, what the laws are in each state, how to keep the body from deteriorating quickly. I do memorial services, facilitate funerals and often do bereavement work later.
As I said before… No two deaths are the same, however they do embrace certain patterns.
These are the dying one's decline in vitality or ability to thrive. Death midwives offer comfort measures like washing, herbs, touch, Reiki, massage, touch, touch, touch, holding the hand, stroking the head, swabbing the mouth. Even chanting, singing or praying can offer comfort to the dying. Many modern deaths also include comfort measures in the use of narcotic pain relief. Dying persons “transition” too … they loose an ability to focus, often times fixating on things or looping. In the case of my grandfather two days ago, he kept asking for his yellow marker. Probably 300 times all through the night. Lovingly, we gave it to him every time. When “active dying” occurs we see definite changes in the skin pallor, often a light bluish color. The skin becomes cool and sometimes damp. Breathing becomes irregular and much more shallow. This is the actual time of the physical death. We do know that hearing is the last sense to leave the body, so we often continue to speak to our dead even when we have called the time of death.
Q. Describe typical mortician services. Do you find them dehumanizing death, depersonalizing death?
I have met and worked with many ethical and kind morticians. However I have learned and followed news and court cases about many, many more that are not. Yes, I find anything other than home death, home viewing and cremation or green burial totally dehumanizing. That is why I walk the path I do.
Q. What are the reasons persons choose your services over the traditional mortician-based burial services?
We are the generation that reclaimed homebirth and demanded recycling. It’s only natural that we would be the ones to reclaim home death and choice in this process. The healing that occurs from touching, bathing, being able to be yourself and surrounded by family and friends in spirit of community instead of showing up for a “funeral” are much more appropriate to us. Many of us have elderly parents and as an aging generation of baby boomers, many of us are looking at our mortality square in the face. It was less than 100 years ago we gave away these traditions to the funeral industry, so we are educating, reclaiming and healing. We heal the earth when we are responsible stewards too.
Q. How important is the spiritual factor as it would relate to Death Midwifery? And are all your clients spiritual or faith based?
Spirituality is most often the common denominator. However, when I midwife, it is not about my spirituality. It is about theirs.
Q. Do Death Midwives serve apprenticeships (similar to birth midwives)?
Yes, but most of us are lay…and many are self taught. We embrace the reality of “the art of becoming is being.”
Q. What training and/or education does a Death Midwife receive?
I taught myself, did massive research on the internet and read every book I could find.
I found that if I taught workshops, teachers would show up. I always say I am just the facilitator, we are all the teachers. Just like birthing, you continue to learn, and, when women come together, we share our stories.
Q. Is there certification (similar to Direct Entry Midwives for birth midwives)?
Not at this time, but we are working to change that too. But it’s a mixed bag. Why should anyone be certified to perform the rites families and women have been doing for eons, and under the law, people are protected to do today?
Q. Have you read the Means to a Better End Report? It details the end-of-life issues that Americans face. What do you and fellow Death Midwives feel are the important issues pertaining to end of life issues/care?
I have not read this. The bottom line is that I support personal choice. It’s knowing your rights, many people give information that simply is not true. I have said many times that most people know more about their remote controls and iPods than they do about preparation for death and or dying.
Q. Do you feel that the services you provide are services that will see an increased use in the future?
I have already seen a huge increase in requests, and as we continue to educate and midwife death, more and more communities will share their experiences and pass it on, we truly are reclaiming what we have a right to do. We all know death is part of the relentless turning of the wheel.
Q. Do you actively advertise your services?
I have a website, I volunteer for Hospice, I am the first Pagan Chaplain at our County Hospital and in the state of Washington. I do workshops and have business cards. I do not advertise, as I do not have time to commit to full time death midwifery. However, I am on call and almost always drop what I am doing when someone needs me. It is a part of my priestess path and when the Goddess blessed me with this reality, I accepted.
Q. Tell me a little about yourself and why you choose Death Midwifery (or did it choose you as birth midwifery choose me)?
You nailed it, I did not choose this path, it chose me. But when I committed to this path, I committed to learning and reading and doing as much as I can on a continual basis.